A giant cockroach ate my cat
I was sitting down
Reading a book
When something made me
Take a look
What did I see
What the hell was that
Did a giant cockroach
Eat my cat?
I couldn’t believe
Why my eyes saw
It ate my cat
Then came for more
It was bigger ‘n me
‘bout six feet two
I just didn’t
Know what to do
I wanted to run
But I just froze
The darned great ‘roach
Stood on my toes
He licked his eyes
And looked at me
As if to say
Ah there’s my tea
Then I remembered
It was night
So standing still
I turned on the light
That darned roach
Turned and ran
Tried to hide
Under a frying pan
But out of luck
Was our friend
He went to meet
A legless end
I chopped them off
One by one
Now that sucker
Sure can’t run
So there he sits
Middle o the room
On his back
He met his doom
I was quick
I was able
Now he is
My coffee table
My brother John
My brother John
He found a snake
Right between his thighs
The girls all said
For goodness sake!
When they looked it in the eye
My brother Tom
They call him long
But looks right short to me
The girls just laugh
And they say
Man its like a tree
My brother Ted’s
Got a purple head
And people call him Dick
When I ask why
The girls just sigh
And give his head a lick
My names Stan
I’m a big man
If you don’t know what I mean
The girls are fans
Of my glands
They know that I’m keen
Wild, hard, happy and high
Wild, hard, happy and high
Stay by me and we’ll touch the sky
Hot, long, strong and free
Leave your friends, come along with me
Wild, strong, happy and hot
Look at all the love I got
Free, happy, wild and strong
Stay with me just string along
Thrill, chill, laugh and touch
I’m the one can give so much
Run, jump, skip and fly
You and me we’ll take it high
You and me we’ll take it high
Love torpedo
Love torpedo
Homing in on you
Love torpedo
Knows what it’ll do
Love torpedo
Between the eyes
Love torpedo
Between the thighs
Love torpedo
To your brain
Love torpedo
Doin it again
Love torpedo
Going from behind
Love torpedo
Gonna blow your mind
Love torpedo
Take it in hand
Love torpedo
Ain’t it grand
Love torpedo
Don’t want no war
Love torpedo
Just wants some more
There was a man
There was a man
The other day
Stood right there
Wouldn’t go away
He said to me
I’m not from here
Take me where
I can get a beer
I took this guy
To a bar
He told me chat
He’d travelled far
From another world
He said he’d come
He said he thought
Earth folk were dumb
So I replied
If you’re so bright
If somethings broke
We make it right
He said to me
That yes he would
So long as it
Would do him good
So I said to him
Just one thing bud
Just who decides
What might be good
And when he looked
I saw he lied
And all the hope
Within me died
How can we win
We always lose
So long as we
Can get to choose
What sounds so good
In one man’s ear
To another man
Sounds like fear
Play to live
Play to live
Live to play
Play with me
Don’t go away
Play all night
Play all day
Come and play
Don’t go away
Chorus
And when we play
I won’t be talking
Let our fingers
Do the walkin’
Come and play
Play right here
Sit right down
Have no fear
We’ll just play
Get it right
Play with me
Play all night.
And when we play
I won’t be talking
Let our fingers
Do the walkin’
And when we play
Time just flies
I love to play
Don’t tell no lies
Play all day
Stay all night
Practice hard
To get it right.
And when we play
I won’t be talking
Let our fingers
Do the walkin’
Boys and girls
Boys and girls come out to play
Sun is shining it’s a lovely day
Leave your socks and leave your shoes
Dance with me and lose your blues.
Come with me through your town
See the walls come tumbling down
Dance and dance the night away
Dance with me ‘til break of day.
Lose your books and lose your school
Dance with me don’t be no fool
Dance and dance the day away
Dance til it all fades away.
Boys and girls come dance with me
Let the dance set you free
Dance and dance until you drop
Dance again don’t ever stop.
Hump
We’re gonna
Hump all day
Hump all night
Hump til the stars are bright
Hump up hill
Hump down dale
Hump until we land in jail
We’re gonna hump.
We’re gonna
Hump about
Hump around
Hump all over this old town
Hump over here
Hump over there
Hump whilst all the people stare
We’re gonna hump.
We’re gonna
Hump for sport
Hump for gold
Hump til we’re both too old
Hump with me
Hump all day
Hump until our dying day
We’re gonna hump.
Hot dog
Hot dog
I growed a log
See it standing way out here
Ooh ee
How can it be
Pass me another beer.
May word
Have you heard
How wood gets in a man
Ooh ee
How can it be
I can hardly stand.
Gee wow
Just don’t look now
It’s poking its head about
Ooh ee
How can it be
Who let that darn thing out.
Oh Jake
It’s like a snake
That’s got out from a zoo
Ooh ee
How can it be
Tell me what to do.
Holy cow
What’s happened now
It’s knocking on your door
Ooh ee
How can it be
I think it still wants more.
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Go go Julia
You’re the one for me
Go go Julia
Come and get me please
Julia I’m waiting
Waiting just for you
Julia I love your face
And you know its true.
Chorus
Go go Julia
You’re the one for me
Go go Julia
Come and get me please.
Julia you’re like the air
It’s Julia I breathe
Every breath I smell your hair
On the gentle breeze.
Go go Julia ……..
Julia is like the sun
Rising in the morning
Be with me as night falls
Stay until the morning
Go go Julia ……..
Here I come
Here I come
Wait for me
Hold me tight
Can’t you see
Here I come
Can’t keep still
Special agent
Licensed to thrill.
Here I come
Feel the flow
Here I come
There you go
Here I come
Come to me
Come to me
Flying free.
Here I come
Eyes so blind
Cannot see
But I can find
Find you girl
Down below
Here I come
There you go.
More
Running through the long grass
Laughing through the wood
Skipping on a sidewalk
Feeling mighty good
Your hair on the pillow
Your clothes on the floor
How could any man
Ever ask for more.
Splashing through the wavelets
Running on the beach
Eyes catch the fireglow
Cheeks like a peach
It’s good to remember
When you come through the door
How quickly we were naked
We didn’t ask for more.
Lay down here beside me
By the warm fireglow
Feel the love inside you
Feel how it grows
Snuggle up behind me
Lay the rug on the floor
Here in the lovelight
Who could ask for more.
Izzy wizzy
Huba juba
Baby scrubber
Come to me
Be my lover
Huba juba
Be my lover
Come to me
My baby scrubber.
Heya heya
People stare
Look at me
And say your prayers
Heya heya
Climb the stairs
We don’t need
No other players
Izzy wizzy
Let’s get busy
Hold on tight
Don’t get dizzy
Izzy wizzy
My girl Lizzy
Under sheets
Getting busy.
Pogo Pete
They call me Pogo Pete
I’ve got three legs but only two feet
The girls all like to come and stare
The guys wish I wasn’t there
Chorus
Pogo Pete ooh ooh
Pogo Pete ooh ooh
At three legged races I am the best
I’ve got something to beat the rest
It’s not funny and it’s not clever
But it’s the best pegleg ever.
Pogo Pete ooh ooh
Pogo Pete ooh ooh
To New York city I did fly
Where the girls all came to sigh
I’ve a different girl every night
There must be something I’m doing right.
Pogo Pete ooh ooh
Pogo Pete ooh ooh
And when the night time comes at last
They learn that I’m not too fast
It’s awful big and very scary
Good thing then that its not too hairy.
Pogo Pete ooh ooh
Pogo Pete ooh ooh
So when I’m dead don’t bury me
Hang me up in some old tree
Like Pinnochio with his nose
The legend of the Pogo grows.
Pogo Pete ooh ooh
Pogo Pete ooh ooh
Straight up the middle
Straight up the middle
It went
Straight up the middle
Between the posts
It took a rest
Cos that’s the place
I love the best
Straight up the middle
It went
Straight up the middle
As it went it gathers speed
It did a glorious deed
Straight up the middle
It went
Straight up the middle
On it went up the hill
When it got tight it was going still
Straight up the middle
It went
Straight up the middle
And when it found it could go no more
It just stopped by the door
Straight up the middle
It went
Straight up the middle
And now it’s had a little rest
And it’s passed it’s little test
Straight up the middle
It went
Straight up the middle
Straight up the middle
It went
Straight up the middle.
We come in peace
We come in peace
To your deep blue earth
Here’s our take
For what its worth
Earth can be so might fine
Loads of girls drink our wine.
Chorus
We come in peace to help you
Help your minds expand
We come in peace so listen
While we lend a hand.
We concentrate on earth girls
We ain’t gay you understand
We love to meet your earth girls
And take them by the hand.
We come in peace to help you
Help your minds expand
We come in peace so listen
While we lend a hand
A sip of wine and they don’t know
That we come from Mars
This is why we have to plan
To pick them up in bars
We come in peace to help you
Help your minds expand
We come in peace so listen
While we lend a hand
But wine from Mars is mighty strong
And the girls soon lose their grip
Which is perhaps just as well
Cos we take them on a trip.
We come in peace to help you
Help your minds expand
We come in peace so listen
While we lend a hand
Up and down and round and round
Man we have a ball
And when we finished all our stuff
They clean forget it all.
We come in peace to help you
Help your minds expand
We come in peace so listen
While we lend a hand
There’s many a little Martian babe
Running around your earth
Which of those Presidents
Is a Martian boy by birth?
We come in peace to help you
Help your minds expand
We come in peace so listen
While we lend a hand
Love at first bite
I saw you the other night
I smell your blood so hot
I just had to follow
To find out what you’ve got
Hair of gold and lips so red
I was blinded by the sight
And when I came to take you
It was love at first bite.
My hairy hands begun to sweat
My teeth began to grow
You hadn’t eaten garlic
How I loved you so
I touched your cheek and bit your neck
It all felt so right
When I got a taste of you
It was love at first bite.
But then things were going wrong
As the dawn began to show
And I left my baby love
Yes I had to go
And down thro’ all the centuries
When I see dawn’s early light
I remember you and your blood
And love at first bite.
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